It has been nearly two months since I've blogged with any real energy or result. I don't think I've wanted to process my daily experience, and I don't think I've wanted to commit it to screen/paper. Somehow writing it out for people to read makes my daily experience more inescapable. Roughly two months ago I moved from one sublet to another; in fact, that might have been one of my last larger blog posts. That was the first time I thought to myself 'OK, this is now my life. I life here now. This is my job, my commute, my grocery store. These are my things; I have to move them, and they are heavy.' In other words, I realized that I wasn't a student anymore. I finished my final test (getting a job), and now what? Not a crisis, of course, but not comfort either.

I do indeed live here. This is my job. These are my things. At the same time, however, I haven't quite found home, a career, or comfort.
I live here now.

This is my job.


These are my things.


Life has steadily improved, and I really hope that I will find my home in time to enjoy the late autumn and winter.

Some things/moments/people of note:
-I’ve taught myself how to knit, and I enjoy it very much. The people at my office are all amazing knitters, so I am rushing to join their circle of crafting and projects. I’m working on a scarf right now that John David will (imperatively) love.

-Edward came to visit NYC and had a great time. We walked all over Manhattan and felt the size of the city pounded out on our feet.

-My friends from this summer are slowly beginning to regroup and organize. I think we are all realizing that our jobs (that we all worked so hard to get) are only portions of our lives.

-I played croquet in Central Park. So much fun.

-There are two Russian Vodka bars down the street from my work. They have this slightly dangerous, dirty aristocratic elegance that I really love.

-I went to a show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and watched Amy Poehler perform. Very funny. And inexpensive!

-I'm halfway through training at Kaplan. Much more demanding and nerve-racking than I expected. Two more weeks.

-I reconnected with a guy I became friends with in Rome. He is now in New York. Awesome.

I have one more month of this sublet, and then I'd like to find a place to call my own. It doesn't have to be fancy, but it does have to be mine.